Thank you for your kind words after that last post, about the violence. I really feel like telling the story of the woman who was killed, but it doesn’t seem quite right to do publicly (although our local journalists don’t seem to feel that way). I went to her memorial service last weekend, and although I can’t go into the details, just let me tell you the things I learned from this tragic thing that happened. I tend to be a bit remedial in my learning of great life lessons, so bear with me. In no particular order:
- Mental illness is a bitch.
- Married people can become almost like one unified organism. It is beautiful and terrifying.
- People can come through (or be in the middle of) the most awful struggles and still appear utterly unremarkable and ordinary.
- I want to ask people more questions, know more about the people I “know,” and be less afraid of offending someone by wanting to hear about their life.
A has been out of town for almost a week, and can you please remind me again how I did this for two months last winter and we all survived? Yow. I’m exhausted. Friday I left work early to take a nap. My boss wasn’t around when I decided to leave, so I sent her an email that said, “If I don’t get some sleep, I’m afraid I’m going to lose it with my kids tonight, so I’m going home.”
It isn’t completely horrible; the sleep is just tough, and the girls have been challenging, I think because they miss A. (I do, too. It is lonely and boring here without him.) And I had some relief booked for last night and today but it dematerialized at the last minute, so that put me in a tailspin.
But now it’s almost 9:30 and I believe I’m going to go to sleep at a decent hour for the first time in weeks, which ought to help. I’m still behind on pretty much everything and haven’t been working on poems at all this week, which makes me feel loony-brained and flabby. But the end is in sight.