Thanks for your reflections on home and where to live. (And for saying you really want me here, Patty.) And don’t panic. We are not packing our bags, we’re just thinking hard about something we’ve had on the back burner for seven or so years. It still could very well go either way. I did plant asparagus this spring, after all.

It turns out the thing that instigated all this (dear friends leaving) is probably not going to happen, not soon. But the week of thinking it was happening for sure has set A and me abuzz about all kinds of things: friendships, Friendship, goals, jobs, where to be. There will be more on this. I guess sometimes we need a good scare.

The other scare was a wimpy-to-nonexistent period, which has happened before and freaked me right the fuck out. I made a 10pm grocery store run on Saturday for HPTs, cilantro, lemons and a bag of M & Ms (because even if you suspect your IUD has failed, the 2-year-old still needs her potty bribes, and you might still want to can tomatillo salsa in the morning). Not only was the pee stick negative, but then last night A and I went for a long conversational dinner and the only movie that started at 8:15 p.m. (the enchanting but horribly acted Harry Potter) and I bled all over the damn theater seat and was too relieved to even be embarrassed. (Besides, I was wearing a red dress.) Lessons learned: (1) As I suspected, I really, really don’t want another child. (2) However pro-choice I am (very, very) it would be very, very, very hard for me to end a pregnancy on purpose. (3) Time for a bit of a less fallible birth control solution, I think.

There must be a business angle on this scare thing. Don’t you think people everywhere would pay to have someone orchestrate the appropriate terrifying circumstance to get them off their butt and doing what they need to do?


9 thoughts on “Scares

  1. Ooh, I wish I’d had a big scare before my IUD failed…it’s so easy to put off the permanent decision but we got burned.

    Still haven’t seen this HP, I’d better get on it before it’s gone from our half ass small town theatre.

  2. I think I’m the same way you are about being very, very pro-choice but very, very reluctant to make a decision to end a pregnancy myself.

    I’m pregnant with our second now and know we’re done. Hubby’s not ready to make it final, I don’t want abdominal surgery… so I’ve been researching my options. I was leaning towards an IUD. Please don’t tell me that they aren’t reliable!

    1. They are comparable to the actual effectiveness rate of birth control pills. So, 99 point something effective. Great unless you’re in that point something percent.

  3. An accidental pregnancy once this one is over is one of my greatest fears. While also very very pro choice, I don’t think I could end a pregnancy, either.

    I don’t like hormonal birth control because it makes me not want to have sex, so what’s the point? And it seems nothing is guaranteed. The day after I talked to my dr about having my tubes tied during the c-section, a random woman at Starbucks told me her fourth is due to a failed tubal!!

    Ack! I’m going to have to start thinking about all this again in just a few short weeks!

    I guess this is one upside to a probable early menopause?

  4. Hmmm. I clearly need to think more about my future birth control.

    I was sort of scared by how easily I’ve gotten pregnant both times I tried. It took two months the first time and one month the second. I was 34 the first time and 36 the second. I wasn’t expecting it to be so easy. (And yes, I know how lucky I am that it was- I am thankful. Scared. But thankful.)

    But then, there were many, many pregnancy-free years before that (I used the pill, and not always as carefully as I should have).

    So maybe I just have a very obliging reproductive system?

  5. OK–so your posts are not showing up in Bloglines for me. The last post I saw was from a month ago, and here I thought you were being all quiet and mysterious. Glad to catch up – and I’ll see if re-subbing fixes the glitch. (And also, I can’t blame my dream on Ambien, but glad it wasn’t prophetic)

    1. Wow, that makes your dream even weirder!

      Let me know if resubscribing works. At some point I signed up for a feedburner account which might not have been wise because I don’t really know what feedburner does. But it’s possible that that messed things up if you’d already signed up earlier. Hmmm.

      Ok, now I’m going to go read the posts that I thought you’d have read but didn’t and try to remember what mysterious things I might have said to you over the past month that made even less sense than I thought…

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