Thanks for your reflections on home and where to live. (And for saying you really want me here, Patty.) And don’t panic. We are not packing our bags, we’re just thinking hard about something we’ve had on the back burner for seven or so years. It still could very well go either way. I did plant asparagus this spring, after all.
It turns out the thing that instigated all this (dear friends leaving) is probably not going to happen, not soon. But the week of thinking it was happening for sure has set A and me abuzz about all kinds of things: friendships, Friendship, goals, jobs, where to be. There will be more on this. I guess sometimes we need a good scare.
The other scare was a wimpy-to-nonexistent period, which has happened before and freaked me right the fuck out. I made a 10pm grocery store run on Saturday for HPTs, cilantro, lemons and a bag of M & Ms (because even if you suspect your IUD has failed, the 2-year-old still needs her potty bribes, and you might still want to can tomatillo salsa in the morning). Not only was the pee stick negative, but then last night A and I went for a long conversational dinner and the only movie that started at 8:15 p.m. (the enchanting but horribly acted Harry Potter) and I bled all over the damn theater seat and was too relieved to even be embarrassed. (Besides, I was wearing a red dress.) Lessons learned: (1) As I suspected, I really, really don’t want another child. (2) However pro-choice I am (very, very) it would be very, very, very hard for me to end a pregnancy on purpose. (3) Time for a bit of a less fallible birth control solution, I think.
There must be a business angle on this scare thing. Don’t you think people everywhere would pay to have someone orchestrate the appropriate terrifying circumstance to get them off their butt and doing what they need to do?