It’s time made this explicit: I do not even know how to operate our camera. Today I learned that that little red picture of a hand? Means the flash is not on. All this time I was thinking it was there to say, Hi! Welcome to your camera!
If I did know how to use a camera you would be able to see right away the solid, glistening dignity of this chunk of tofu. I mean, the thing is, like, six feet and at least three hours from the last time and place tofu was eaten in our home. I am asking it, “How in the hell did you get over there, little chunk of tofu?” And it is saying to me, “I don’t give a damn if you do take my picture and put it on the Internet. I am going sit here with perfect posture and enjoy my reflection, thank you very much.”